Jokes

[buliebuse]

I can park 'on' anything with this.
Only problem was someone stole my steering wheel ;D

[buliebuse]

PS Paul
As you must have done Naional Service, I'm sue you'll recognise the vehicle!

[bulietaz]

hi ju
you been at the cider again, cos your spelling has got worse!
lets hope you could read the road signs while you were in that thing.
cris

[sandaharr]

What a great pic,hope you had a great time.Love the pics of your two pups,both looking super and Sim ever so at home!!

[sandaharr]

OO Cris that is funny,she is always getting on at everybody else about the use of the spellchecker,tee hee.

[temwani]

Why did Tigger smell?

[temwani]

Because he was friends with Pooh!

[buliebuse]

Why do we all own these vicious Mastiff Breeds ?

[temwani]

Great cutting Julie - these dogs are such softies.

[ryk]

So cute…

[buliebuse]

Why does Sandra only have size 4 feet ?

[sandaharr]

Because she walks that much in the rain that her feet have shrunk!

Because she isn't too big for her boots!

Because she is really a petite person in disguise under all that fat!

[buliebuse]

Tut Tut Sandra
Come on you know the answer!

[sandaharr]

Because I'm a good person and good people have size 4 feet?

[buliebuse]

Nope
Take a good look

[sandaharr]

roflmao!! ;D

[buliebuse]

Lost early this am
Norman AKA fat boy terrorist Dim 'Sim'
Thought Clive had taken him into work with him - but then I heard a noise from the garage.
All I could see was a wagggy tail sticking out from half a 25kg bag of Buses' kibble!
No more food today me thinks

[buliebuse]

Hi all
Thought I would relay a day from last week, where Buse 'does what it says on the tin - if need be)
My house is not a mansion but a moderate 3 bed-semi with large garden & conservatory (where the dogs sleep).We have gates in place from the kitchen to the front door & into the lounge etc.
One afternoon a knock on the door - a 'gentleman' stood with another at the end of the drive.
Hello Missis - I can cut your hedge for £25
Why I asked , when I have a husband who will do it for free?
OK then Missis - I can tarmac your drive
I don't want it tarmacked thank you I replied
Well now Missis you see your flat roof on your garage I think in the near future someone might come over the top of that & burgle you - & with you obviously having a small child (re he could see the gates) & no husband at home you need protection.
Oh really I said
Yes I have some Rockviler pups for sale (that is the way he wrote it down for me!& only £150 each & it would save me from being done over.
Just a minute I said I'll go get a pen & a piece of paper to write down your mobile number , as being a lowly Mum would need to consult hubby first.
Went to the conservatory - got Buse & put her on a long lead rope out at full speed to the front door & told these 2 never to darken anyones doorstep on this street again.Change of pants was in order for them I think.
I then left Buse in the front garden for an hour - just in case.
Did get showered with a couple of bottles of wine from neighbours, to say thanks for standing up to them.
I know I can rely on Buse & in this day & age unfortunately I need her around - but saying that out in public she is the biggest 'girl thingy-cat' going. I think I have the balance right !
Ju

[bulietaz]

hi ju
laughed my sox off at that, can imagine the guys face as he sped up the street!
nice to know something in your house is balanced ;D
cris

[bulietaz]

hi ju
i got a mirror like that lmao!
cris

[abel]

buliebuse said:

Change of pants was in order for them I think.

;D
great job - didn't Buse help them taking off their pants ?

Albert.

[buliebuse]

Please be afraid anyone who will be around at Ewas BBQ.
I am very prone to getting into trouble through no fault of my own.
EG when I went to N.Ireland the day before they banned any -hand luggage & that weekend was the anniversary of a famous hunger strickers death.As I was staying on the Falls rd with a staunch catholic family I was not allowed out & had to smuggled back to the airport.
Won a holiday to EuroDisney & missed the Eurostar by 5 minutes.
On holiday in Crete, got Gout, conjunctivitus & missed the plane home by 3 days.(Well it was all-inclusive)
Went to Amsterdam & on the way back went to use the loos where you board at the gate, an air stewardess came in, fainted & knocked herself on the sink.As I was the only one in there with her the plane was delayed & I was questioned, until she came round enough to say that I had not attacked her.
Went to Latvia for a wedding over one New Year - due to fly back New Years day (Yes hangover) - only to be informed that the airline had gone into receivership at midnight.
Etc & the list goes on.
Then took Sim puppy class last week - in the middle of the lesson I decided he looked like he needed a wee.2 mintues later we were evacuated as someone had set fire to the building next-door.Yes I was questioned, but luckily some-one vouched that I had taken Sim in the oppsite direction.
I think soon Clive will refuse to travel or go anywhere with me
Ju

[mayahund]

buliebuse said:

Please be afraid anyone who will be around at Ewas BBQ.
I am very prone to getting into trouble through no fault of my own I think soon Clive will refuse to travel or go anywhere with me
Ju

Don't worry Ju - we sound like 2 peas in a pod
I was on Crete when there was an earthquake in the sea just off the beach, tidal wave swept the beach front.

Stayed in Guatemala when there was an earthquake outside the cost of Mexico, the houses moved but didn't fall were we were. Guatemala again, volcano eruption, still safe though! Guatemala again, sort of fell of a horse on the very steep side of a path along a volcano, hung upside down on the cliff side, only holding on with my bare hands, alive and telling about it today,

Greece again, student revolt, 2 streets from were I was living, military came in with tanks.

Leaving Greece one time there was a bomb threat to our flight. All in all - 5 hour delayed, missed our connection in Frankfurt with 30 minutes - had a big sports event we were going to cook for the next day.....got on the early morning business shuttle for Sweden, during take off they get a red light....well we did get to cook the food eventually!

My luggage NEVER arrives at the same place or time as me - so I Lerned to pack my handluggage

Want to hear more??? Want to travel with me??

Ewa

[buliebuse]

Ewa - between us will we manage to get from Copenhagen into Sweden without too many problems or mishaps.What the heck, it'll be a giggle.
Ju

[mayahund]

buliebuse said:

Ewa - between us will we manage to get from Copenhagen into Sweden without too many problems or mishaps.What the heck, it'll be a giggle.Ju

Funny enough - seldom anything happens at home to me, so you should be quite safe - can't guarantee your luggage at the airport to, that gets lost everywhere.

Ewa

[buliebuse]

Ewa
Luggage - whats that?
Shall come armed with a sense of humour, toothbrush & passport.
So will need to borrow t-shirts & boxer shorts please.
Do I need a swim-suit?
Ju

[mayahund]

buliebuse said:

Ewa Luggage - whats that?
Shall come armed with a sense of humour, toothbrush & passport.
So will need to borrow t-shirts & boxer shorts please.
Do I need a swim-suit?Ju

You got it Don't take anything that doesn't fit in your hand luggage if you're taking a long trip, for short ones it should fit in your pockets

T-shirts and boxers available - if too big - we'll just use gaffer tape
Bring swim suit, sea and lake really close by. I got towels! Sleeping bags could be an idea if you got some light weight ones. Otherwise we'll work it out. You'll be here first so you get the good stuff
Ewa

[buliebuse]

Hi Ewa
That'll be great - shall remember to bring swinsuit if nothing else - or improvise.Don't have sleeping bags apart from age 5-7 yr olds Barbie & Harry Potter ones that are only 3Ft long.
A couple of blankets in a tent will do us - I can sleep standing up after a few drinks so no probs!
Ju

[mayahund]

buliebuse said:

Hi Ewa That'll be great - shall remember to bring swinsuit if nothing else - or improvise.Don't have sleeping bags apart from age 5-7 yr olds Barbie & Harry Potter ones that are only 3Ft long. A couple of blankets in a tent will do us - I can sleep standing up after a few drinks so no probs! :DJu

Don't worrie about it! You're probably first to arrive so you'll get front row seats But it sure would be fun to see you guys early sunday morning wearing too short HP and Barbie ;D
Ewa

[buliebuse]

Actually on reflection Ewa we'll sleep with the dogs - I know they have the sofa
Ju