Jokes

[buliebuse]

Myself , Beth & her new friend decided to have a girls night in last night. LOL

[bulietaz]

hi ju
why hasnt buse got a face pack? Girlie night in etc!
And my goodness hasnt Sim grown, soon be the right size for a draught excluder!!
;D
Cris

[sandaharr]

Ju,love the new look ,much improved on the usual one!!
Sim is HUGE,I can't believe it is the same puppy!!

[buliebuse]

Hi Sandra & Cris
Yes he has grown - I must remember to stop feeding him! ;D
Believe it or not they still insist on 'snuggling' up in the same cage .
I thought the look suited me as well - but Buse wasn't so keen.
Got my own back for her not joining in though.Yesterday they went out for a trek across fields etc & came back stinking FOX !!
They were banished to the conservatory with all windows & doors open & then shampooed & showered down outside.
They still stink abit though - any tips?
Ju

[jenny]

The only thing that neutralises fox poo is (believe it or not) TOMATO. You can use half a raw tomato rubbed on the offending spot or tomato sauce (a bit messy, but effective, just don't let the RSPCA in whilst you're doing it as they will think you are killing your dog!). Wash off and hey presto! No more eye watering pong!
I learned this from a friend when I had a Newfie that would roll in anything she could find that was disgusting. How many times I drove home from a walk with my head out of the car window! Yuuuuuuuk!!!

[temwani]

Hi Jenny,

That's really interesting. I rely on washing up liquid followed by men's radox shower jel. But I will try tomato next time.

thanks

Geri

[buliebuse]

Jenny
thats a good tip - shall try next time - not in the too distant future either knowing my two.
Ju

[bulietaz]

jenny
thats certainly worth knowing, nothing worse than a smelly dog!
Taz the dirty little devil will roll in anything she can find!
cris

[buliebuse]

Picture this
2.30am this morning , my 15yr old son suddenly appears in our bedroom, in distress & crying with pain.
I took him downstairs (so Clive could at least sleep) armed with a quilt & mothers arms to hold him etc.Things went from bad to worse so had to call the emergency doctors etc.Meanwhile Ben decided to vomit all over the lounge,dining area & kitchen before he reached the sink.For thoses who know me , I will do severed limbs , heart attacks etc but not vomit.
I then phoned Clive on his work phone - which he takes to bed with him for an alarm to get him downstairs to clear up.He came running downstairs & promptly went A over T in all the mess!
Anyrate the emergency crew came round , did Bens OBs & all seems , crossed fingers, to have settled down.
As I was then fully awake, decided to give Sandra a heart-attack by phoning her at her work at @ 4.30am the same morning.LOL
Ju

[sandaharr]

Yes heart attack is about right,I was in such a panic!! Glad Ben is ok though,you were probably not thinking straight at the time when you phoned!!

[buliebuse]

I was
just sooo tired & had enough s**t to put up with this year to last my lifetime!
Where oh where is my silver lining?
Ju

[sandaharr]

I know missus,I was just glad I caught the phone so you could have a gab.

[bulietaz]

ju
sorry to hear Bens unwell
but the image of clive going end up just had me roaring!
(sorry clive but you have to admit its funny )
Hope alls well now
cris

[ryk]

This is what marriage is really all about



He ordered one hamburger, one order of French fries and one drink.

The old man unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half. He placed one half in front of his wife. He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.



He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them. As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the



people around them kept looking over and whispering. You could tell they were thinking, "That poor old couple - all they can afford is one meal for the two of them."



As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table. He politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man

said they were just fine - They were use d to sharing everything.



The surrounding people noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite. She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking

turns sipping the drink.



Again the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them. This time the old woman said "No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything."



As the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked "What is it you are waiting for?"



She answered





(This is great)



**********



**********



**********



**********



"THE TEETH."

[buliebuse]

Troubles of using a long lead line & not paying attention
LOL
Ju

[buliebuse]

Ewa - just for you!
You know I don't like fish, but this one was pretty cool.



Ju

[mayahund]

You know I'm blue with envy!!!
Must have been a great experience.
Ewa

[buliebuse]

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire!
Buse likes to keep Sims' 'bits' warm on these cold nights. LOL



Ju

[buliebuse]

Teachers strike yesterday - so had to get daughter working LOL
Hopefully link to You tube - yes that is a 15Kg lump hammer she is welding!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9EiWZeAwTM#

This was the middle result - we then used a skateboard to get the big lumps of concrete over to a new neighbours empty skip - much to the amusment of all around. PS I did then when the new neighbours came back went over & offered to pay for the skip etc.
Ju

[ryk]

Just had to give you these two links, you might have seen them, but...

www.youtube.com/watch?v=BEV87q5Onqk


www.youtube.com/watch?v=_RgL2MKfWTo

[buliebuse]

Helene
I was in fits at the Ken LEEE one !
Ju

[buliebuse]

Thought I'd share a couple of pics with you guys to make you smile!

First is Beths dream as painted by myself



Second is a scuplture of Clive - got out of bed the wrong side !





Last but no means least is Buse - she killed a hedgehog the other night - how stupid is he? Went to TK Max & brought a group of pigs that sit on the shelves - she thought they were hedgepigs LOL



Ju

[mayahund]

They're brilliant Ju! You sure got some great talent there.
Really like both.
Got to admit thought, that me and Clive have some similarities in mornings

For inspiration, only in swedish but this woman is amazing! She works in clay. tradgardsdraken.blogspot.com/
Ewa

[buliebuse]

A giggle for everyone on a Sunday.
Surprised Clive yesterday with a day out- just him & myself, no kids, no dogs.
Went horse-riding for the day , 3 hours in the morning , stopped off for a pub lunch & then 3 hours back.It was fantastic!
Although this morning I look as if I have been partaking in some sort of kinky S&M ritual as I have stirrup rash down my calves.
Ju

[mayahund]

Sounds like a perfect day out!
How's Clive doing today though ;D
Ewa

[ryk]

HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term.

The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:


Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'


THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.

[ryk]

When you have an I Hate My Job day, try this:

On your way home from work, stop at a pharmacy and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson; Be very sure you get this brand.

When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed.

Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your favorite chair. Open the package and remove the thermometer. Now, carefully place it on a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken.

Now the fun part begins.

Take out the literature from the box and read it carefully. You will notice that in small print there is a statement:

'Every Rectal Thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson is personally tested and then sanitized. '

Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times:

'I am so glad I do not work in the thermometer QA department at Johnson & Johnson.'

Have a nice day; and remember, THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE ELSE WITH A JOB THAT IS MORE OF A PAIN IN THE ASS THAN YOURS!

[buliebuse]

Hi Guys
Just back from sunny Scotland - we guys always tend to draw each other pictures etc for 'coming home', birthdays & Christmas - although alot cheaper , more personal.


Beth my 13 year old (Sorry but couldn't rotate it)


Ben my 16 year old.
Please any of you who are clinicians/analysts - they have got used to that style of art from me.


Being soooo relaxed at Sandra & Harrys didn't have time, so enlisted the help of a young boy who came to visit & pick up their pup.
The kids were none too impressed with my effort, but have promised to do a picture for them this week - just have to choose from the beautiful pics I took !
Ju

[ryk]

just follow the link, YMCA like you´ve never seen it before. You can not quit before you´ve seen the dancers.

www.boreme.com/boreme/funny-2007/gregorius-nmky-p1.php

[mayahund]

Sept 9, 2008 14:45:13 GMT buliebuse said:

Great pic's your kids made. They're really talented.
Love Ben's but can't stop wondering if that is how "my kids" at work feel like when I've been at them??? ;D

Ewa